Greetings to all. Recently I have embarked on something particularly difficult.
Making friends has always been hard for me. Wait, scratch that. Talking to new people at all has been difficult. Which is why this new school has been immensely challenging for me. It’s so easy for me to look around my school and blame everyone else for my absence of friends. “Well if only people would talk to me!” or “Why aren’t people inviting me to sit with them?” As I write this, I’m feeling quite disappointed with myself for hiding behind these cowardly excuses.
I started school about a week and a half ago and some days, I still find myself eating lunch on the hallway floor alone. Most days, I hide myself within a book to pass time while cutting myself off from anyone wanting to chat. I go to school, wanting to make friends. But at the same time, I’m expecting them to come to me. It would make me feel so much better if I could just blame the other kids. But I can’t. As much as I think it’s their fault, it’s even more mine.
I spend a lot of my day being silent and trying to blend in. But how can I expect them to see me and seek me out, when I’m so concerned with being invisible? This is the question I need to ask myself whenever I shrink at an opportunity to make a friend, or even just any social interaction. Be confident. I don’t need to prove myself for them to want to be my friend. I don’t want to be invisible. And know it’s hard, but what great things come from easy feats?
As a christian, I strive everyday to be someone who literally radiates of some foreign essence. The love of Jesus. As I go to school, I want to be someone. Not someone who puts on a thin, plastic mask with characteristics that only go skin deep. No. I want everyday of my life to be evidence that I am kind.
A good friend.
A follower of Jesus.
I am these things. I just need to stop being scared of showing it.
Bringing everything back together, I’ve collected some tips for fellow new kids. Good luck, and I promise you’re not the only one feeling this. 🙂
-Have a mantra. Before you go to school, look in the mirror and say something uplifting. Ex: You are confident. You can do this.
– Put yourself out there. Making new friends is never easy. As soon as you put yourself in that awkward situation, it won’t seem as hard. I’m not saying you’ll immediately have friend. (because some kids are just mean :I) But you have to learn how to pick yourself back up and not look to others for significance or worth.
-Wear something that comforts you. Maybe this is just for me, but I wear clothes like armor. If I have an awesome outfit, I’m more confident in my walk, talk, and ultimately my day.
– Be confident. I’m not trying to be cliche, but seriously. Go throughout your day with confidence in who you are. Not trying to be someone you’re not, but be comfortable with being you.