Hello everyone! I had a bit of a writing block for a few weeks, which resulted in a heavily delayed post. My bad. But after this past week something finally came up for me to write about. But first let me tell you some backstory.
Before I moved to Costa Rica, I had a lot of friends at my church and I was pretty involved. You know, helping with Sunday-school, attending youth group, dancing onstage, the whole she-bang. To sum it all up, I love my church. Whenever I was in Costa Rica, all the churches we visited weren’t “good enough”. A lot of the time I was just thinking about how much I missed my church and how I couldn’t wait to go back. This past Sunday, I visited my church and going into it, I was sooo excited. But when I got there, everything was different. Everyone looked different, talked different, acted different. All my old friends I’d known since 4th grade seemed as if they didn’t know me anymore. It was like I was an outsider.
I ended up sitting on a secluded barstool at a table by myself. But of course two of my favorite youth leaders came to talk and cheer me up. 🙂 It’s not that anybody was rude or even remotely stand-offish. It’s just that something had changed when I was gone. I couldn’t believe that years of friendship had basically been abandoned after I’m absent for a few months. (Well, except my best friend. We’re still awesome, but it’s still a little different.) At first I was like, “What a bunch of wimps! You think all your friends are gonna stay with you forever! Ha! That doesn’t mean you forget about them!” (And of course that’s me hiding my pain with a joke.) But after thinking, I accepted that 1, something had changed and it wasn’t their fault. And 2, the friendships I made are not lost.
I think the reason I was in shock of everyone was because when I left, I was leaving my friends who were still figuring out who their friend groups were and who they were themselves. But when I came back, I came back to young adults who were pretty stabilized regarding their friends. I missed that transition from pre-teen to teenager. And because of that, I’m not a part of their “new” friendships. And that really sucks, at least on my part. Not being apart of their new friends doesn’t mean we’re not friends anymore, it’s simply that it’ll never be like it was before. And that’s not bad nor good. It just is. It’s something new. It’s change, and change is hard.
“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”